“Daddy, this is the most beautiful creature I ever, ever saw … Wow, I never saw a beautiful salamander. This is a really cute guy. Maybe we can … HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Life does not need to have a grand meaning. There is meaning in every moment, ordinary moments just like these.

The wonder of this salamander didn’t go away after I grew up and stopped seeing it. The wonder is still there. Little kids remind me to pay attention, to see the wonder again.

I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys ‘R Us Kid!

Sept 2, 2023. Elliot age 5 and Olivia 15 or 16.

https://youtube.com/shorts/_FVlxFKa9As?si=QGYMsV9LalhtfGnN

At the end of the day, Elliot was exhausted. We’d also visited with Tim and Margaret Coutts at Barnes and Noble that morning. Here he is, passed out, holding his new toy that Olivia, Gwen, and Michael got him. He loves it. It’s a Sasquatch-caller. He was playing with it the whole evening, blowing into it and hoping Sasquatch would come.

“I love the blue moon! That blue wants to take away my breath!” (I love the phrasing)

And later, “Why isn’t it blue?”

The super, blue moon was intensely bright and big. Elliot kissed me on the cheek as I held him up. He used the binoculars to look closely at the moon. I told him Gumby is still up there. He asked me to tell him all about the meteor craters.

I can still hold Elliot in my arms, fortunately even with just one arm. He weighs 49 pounds, so I can’t hold him in one arm for too long.

The next “super blue moon” won’t be for 14 years. Elliot will be 19, I will be 67, and I wont be able to hold him except for hugs.

I could not get photos while holding him; this is the best I could do. I wanted to enjoy the moment with him anyway. He was clearly taken with it!

I told him that I love that he loves science. Earlier today before the moon, we looked at 3 new slides in the microscope – mosquito, dog tongue, and dog stomach. There are many more, and I hope he and Naomi look at some on Wednesday.

Then we did science experiment #5 from Generation Genius – Rainbow Electrolysis.

Afterwards , Elliot proceeded to mix a whole variety of things from the kitchen into a glass, then a bucket, to try to make explosions and other interesting concoctions. He was most proud of the gas released from baking soda with vinegar. But adding dish soap and food coloring and hot sauce and spices was fun, too. Like him, I loved to do this as a kid… always hoping for an explosion or at least something interesting to happen!

For “My Summer Memory”, Elliot chose to write about our trip to the BV Overlook cabin on July 7, 8, and 9, 2023. I was so happy.

Friday, August 25, 2023

Elliot told me in the morning, “Thank you for bringing me to Kindergarten early.” I said you’re welcome and ask him why it was important. “Because I get to do the circle with other kids in the morning. Aviva missed it.” When I asked if he missed it, too, he said yes, he has missed it.

We go to Shabbat Services regularly at Chabad South Metro Denver in Lone Tree. Elliot often falls asleep on my lap before or after he plays with the other children. But now he’s getting too big for that. I’ll miss it. I wish it was not so boring for him. He does get involved, though — he dresses the Torah when it is ready to be put away. I hold him in my arms on the bimah when I am called up for an aliyah. He sings on the bimah with the other children at the end. He sometimes joins Rabbi Meier for his children’s group just when Rabbi Mintz starts his sermon. But he doesn’t really play with the other kids – they are too young or too old. The ones his age are girls.

I should not have taken this photo because it is Shabbat, but I could not resist. It might be the last time he sleeps on me! Already he can only place his head on my lap. He used to fit his whole body on me, with my support.

Last evening at the pool, Elliot was playing with a boy named Zach. His father, Brett, was there. Elliot explained that he does not eat eggs that have blood because he’s Jewish. He also said he does not eat hot dogs and ice cream together because he is kosher.

It was adorable to hear. He has no fear of being made fun of, in fact he almost seems proud. I love it.

The boy had no idea what he was talking about, but the father understood and said he knew a little about it because he had some Jewish friends.

Elliot wants to dance tonight because of the “Shabbat Party” we will have at home. When I told him I do not know how to dance, and it is one of my biggest regrets not learning, he said, “oh i’ll show you how.” and he proceeded to jump and shake.

He has no self-consciousness and it’s beautiful!

He loved it! At drop-off, he was reserved and quiet. Not smiling. I was unsure how the first day would go. It’s only 3 1/2 hours for the first two days, so the kids can ease into it. But Elliot did not ask me to stay with him as he always did in preschool… so I count that as independence improvement!

When I picked him up, he was his usual bubbly, jolly self and had lots to tell me. He was especially interested in telling me about a raccoon book they read. See if you can tell which photos are from drop-off and which are pick-up!

On the way out, we spent about 30 minutes in the library. Elliot talked to the librarian, Michael, a lot. No one else was there so we had it all to ourselves. I love that library. I picked up several books we know, but also “Puff the Magic Dragon”, a song I sing to Elliot at bedtime. He did not want me to read it to him.

Then we went to the farm and played with the goats and chickens, just like yesterday at the meet-and-greet… and at the popsicle playground party last week. He can’t get enough of the farm animals, even after a week at Farmette Camp this past summer.

Elliot asked me how he could become a farmer.

Then we drove home, had some lunch, and went to Tiny Town for a while.

Elliot has had TWO naps today, after sleeping 9-10 hours last night. I’ve never seen him nap twice in one day!

Oh my god, we had so much fun at the mattress store; I didn’t know you could have so much fun at such a place. But Elliot’s never been to one. We tried all of the mattresses, jumping up and down like monkeys and sardines on the beds. Tested all the pillows. No one else was in the store. Elliot’s favorite was the reclining, motorized bed and he begged me to buy it.

Yesterday and today I visited Elliot at fishing camp. It’s at Flyin’ B Ranch, just a few miles away. I stayed for about 45 minutes – 1 hour. It was a great time with Elliot teaching me how to fish, showing me the toads, telling me about the bull snake from earlier, showing me how the other children were killing grasshoppers. I told him that he knows what is right and what is wrong; and that he can’t control what other people do, but he can control himself.

Elliot was crying when I left; silent crying probably because he did not want to be embarrassed in front of the other kids. That is why his preschool strongly strongly discouraged me from visiting him during the day. It’s so hard when he’s literally 2-3 miles away and it’s not my parenting day.

Is it selfish?

I want to tell him to be happy for the time we had together, not sad for time we are apart. But I did not think of it. Instead, I asked him to tell me how he felt. He was quiet and did not talk. I carried him in my arms. He buried his head in my neck with silent tears streaming down his cheeks. I asked him many times to use his words, but he did not. I even started to ask his feelings: do you feel sad? do you feel frustrated? Are you bored (I think he is tired of fishing camp)? I told him I would see him in the morning at his doctor appointment, and that mama would pick him up very, very soon. It did not help.

Eventually he asked to go with me.

Aug 7, 2023. I stopped by during lunch break at Shredder Fishing Camp today at the Flying-B Ranch. Last year it was in a nicer location, Lair O the Bear Park, but much farther away. I could not have stopped there for lunch but this is only 10 minutes from home. Elliot is having fun! He already caught 3 Bluegills and 1 Catfish. He loved the catfish, said it was pretty and had nice whiskers. A hawk landed close by and did not seem to care about all of the people nearby!

One of our many trips to Boulder to visit Quinn, but this is our last since he is moving back to New York. We will see him again when his parents come to pick him up later in August.

the Fart Ninja in Boulder. Elliot loves whoopie cushions.

August 6, 2023. Max’s old shirt. Elliot’s baby hat that no longer fits. It’s summer with a fire and he wants to wear it anyway!

Elliot periodically gets obsessed with certain toys or objects of desire. When visiting the Arapahoe and Douglas County Fairs recently, he was obsessed with corn dogs. He wanted to eat a corn dog. When Rebecca Elster said they weren’t kosher (made with buttermilk) and did not buy them for Ella and Maya, Elliot stopped asking until I mentioned we could make kosher corn dogs.

We tried making those at home and it did not work out!

But he won a corn dog stuffy at the fair. He was asking for it over and over at both fairs. We finally got it at the 2nd fair (Douglas County). He carries it all over with him

Obsessed with the Skippyjon Jones book — we’ve read it countless times, and he wants a Siamese cat.

There was also a Dracula coin which we bought in Romania for Max as the real Dracula castle. Elliot loved it until it was lost somewhere in the car. He carried it with him everywhere.