According to Max, Mia the Christian in his class says “Moms and God make babies.” This from a 9-year old girl.
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Karolina; “I look at him and I see you, his profile. You both have the same lip and chin.”
We are in Cordillera. Newey is a blob, a burrito, feeding, sleeping, pooping. He doesn’t cry much. He does have a personality already. He won’t shut up until he’s in Karolina’s arms at night; he won’t sleep in the “co-sleeper” but only in Karolina’s arms. Karolina says he has my chin (with the dimple) and upper-lip.
Day 3. Karolina and Newey are still in the “hostabul“.
Max: “I wish Newey was 7 years old when he was born.”
Me: “Why?”
Max: “So I could already play with him.”
Me: “But no babies are born that way.”
Max: “No, Coward Babies are”
Me: “What’s a Coward Baby?
Max: “It’s when a mother gets a C-section. The doctor is trying to find the baby and pull him out, but he is hiding. The baby hides for 7 years, until he is too big for the mama and can’t hide anymore.”
Me: Laughing.
After seeing Newey for the first time, and after we were alone getting pudding and jello together in the hospital kitchen, Max says to me:
“Do you feel any different?
Me: “No. Do you?”
Max: “Yes. Who will Mama love more?”
The doctor’s first comment after seeing Newey out of the womb was that Newey had a prominent dimple in his chin.
Max is grossed out by the extra piece of skin next to Newey’s ear. I told him that in rare circumstances, the skin can survive after the doctor removes it. It can then grow a heart, lungs, brain and grow into a small person, a midget or a dwarf. And Max will have to bring him to show-and-tell at school saying, “This is my other little brother.” We have to choose a name for it.
Max and I had another crazy, epic weekend day so that Karolina could do her own thing before Newey is born tomorrow.
As I write this, it’s 10 PM. Newey is due in 9 1/2 hours. This is my last evening before him. I had a moment of giddiness this afternoon, butterflies in the stomach. Everyone tells me that my life is about to change completely and irrevocably. I think Tim and Margaret Coutts’ phrasing of it yesterday at Barnes and Noble really hit it home for me.
But what will it be like? Will I be so stricken with love that I won’t care about anything else? Will I gaze into his eyes and see my parents and my grandparents? Will I cry uncontrollably for Mom and Dad not being here to see him? There are some many other possibilities. What is it like to feel like I’d do anything for this person? Will he be healthy? Will he come down with mental illness later in life? Will I smile just by looking at him? Will I see myself when I look at him? Will he have Karolina’s beautiful blue eyes or my family’s hazel? Will he laugh easily and be a happy-go-lucky child like I was? Will he be lean and long, like Karolina, and have her insight and wisdom?
Although we’ve already decided to name him Elliot with the Hebrew name Melech, after my father, we haven’t firmly decided on one or several middle names:
- Elliot Wolf Jung — Wolf is the maiden name of my grandmother and Karolina and I have a soft spot for wolves. I had posters of wolves in my room even when I was a child.
- Elliot Emet Wolf Jung (Emet, or truth, is the word written on the Golem’s forehead)
- Elliot Max Wolf Jung — for my beloved Uncle Max and, of course, his half-brother
- Elliot Martin Wolf Jung — Martin for my father
- Elliot Abe/Abraham Wolf Jung — I only mentioned this once to Karolina. I don’t think she liked it. Uncle Abe was another beloved uncle of mine, different side of the family, who I was very close to as an adult in my 20s. He lived in Toronto then, after a lifetime in Brooklyn with his Canadian Jewish wife, Ethel
I’m not a big fan of two middle names, but we’ll see. Naming ceremony isn’t for a week. I hope we do not have to name him in the hospital 9 hours.
Here’s what Max and I did today. I’m exhausted.
Botanical Gardens Chatfield Farms, not far from the house
Clue Room in Centennial (alice in wonderland theme)
Lunch at Tokyo Joe’s — Max’s new favorite place
Dart Mania in Englewood! (his favorite part of the day)
Mt Falcon Park Hike in Morrison
2-hour hike. We didn’t make it to the abandoned castle because we left from the wrong parking lot; it was just too far.
It was a very strenuous hike at times, and this guy was hiking up without footwear, no shirt, and carrying what I guessed to be a 30-pound rock on shoulders. There was another man following him recording the entire event. It was quite impressive.
Then dinner at Whole Foods and Dunkin’ Donuts afterwards — strawberry frosted donut for Max, as usual. And finally, Hyperspace. I don’t have any photos from that night, but here’s one from our first time there.
The Narrative
And throughout the day, we listened to disc after disc of Star Wars Death Troopers on audio book, which we rented a couple of weeks ago from Talking Books Plus in Englewood. Max’s choice.
These photos were actually taken on April 8, 2018 (11 days ago):
Last night, Karolina was in a lot of pain. Newey is due in 5 days. She told me and Max that often that pain means the mother is about to “go into labor“. After explaining that that means, Max was very concerned.
While we are in bed in his room in Littleton, with the lights out, Max made me promise that if Mama gets in labor, that we won’t let him sleep through it and leave him at home while we go to the hopsital (sic). I told him Mama would be screaming in pain; there was no way he would sleep through it. It’s the most painful thing women experience in their lives. Then he got worried:
“If mama gets in labor, what will help? Ice?
I said no.
“How can we make her feel better?Chocolate?”
Me: “How did your think of that?”
Max: “Because when I was in pre-k, I fell in the playground, and the teacher was stuffing me with chocolate. Mama told me that.”
He asked all about the ambulance. Would I call one? (No, I would drive us because it’s faster). Then he wanted to know what the ambulance people do (he doesn’t know the word paramedics) — to learn what Mama would be missing. When I told him, he said “That’s it? What about for pain?” I did explain Mama couldn’t take pain pills and needed a very special pain killer that goes into her spine so the baby isn’t affected.
So many questions in bed. They did not stop for a long time. Trying to fall asleep. I was patient.
Today was Max’s first fencing tournament. He won fourth place with a medal! He then went to Jackson’s birthday party at the aquarium, wearing his fencing outfit and medal proudly, according to Karolina. Finally, the 3 of us went to see Isle of Dogs in the theatre, Karolina’s first experience with reclining seats (and my 3rd)
This is also the first weekend we’ve had the cats in Littleton. They are keeping me up all night crying (mostly Pepi). I’m exhausted. They are here because Karolina is due in 2 weeks and can’t travel to Cordillera anymore until after the birth.
It’s already been more than a week since Max’s birthday and party. It was such a great weekend — Max and Karolina stayed in Littleton for the most part. On the morning of his birthday, we gave him some great gifts: Lego Death Star (insert photo), D&D Starter kit, with Volo’s book and
Max told me he heard about the Toys 4 Us “bankrub” (bankruptcy). Needless to say, he’s upset about it, although not overly so. I hope we can go one last time so he can experience a real brick-and-mortar toy store. There are no other toy store chains left since Toys 4 Us bought out KB Toys (called KB Hobbies when I was a kid) years ago.
And Kiddie City is long gone, too… where my Grandpa Moe took me once and told me I could get anything I wanted. Of course, I asked for the most expensive item– a pinball machine that was some kind of “kit” pinball… it was on the very top shelf and I couldn’t even touch it. He said no and I chose something else 🙂 I knew before asking him that I should not have asked.
Max, while looking at my crotch, “Your pee-pee is wiggly. Why is my pee-pee sometimes wiggly and sometimes straight?”
I’m brushing my teeth and nod my head.
“Do you know? Why?”
I hold up a finger to give me a moment.
While in bed in Littleton, with his turtle light in Cordillera, “Aki, can you believe I no more need the turtle light? I can sleep in the dark now.”
Max: When will the baby be born? April or May?
Aki: April
Max: Will the baby visit Gaga? Like when he’s 7 or whenever age?
Aki: “Probably not”
Max: What about when he’s 10?”
Aki: “Maybe if he goes with you.”
Max: “Yeah, that’s what I’m meaning.”
Aki: “Ah, yeah, then he could go.”
Max: “Were you one your father’s best friends because you went on the broken stuff with him?”
Aki: “Yes, just like we are best friends, too.”
Max: “Did your mom know?”
Aki: “She knew some of it, but not how dangerous it was.”
Max: “If it was so dangerous and she found out, what would she do to her husband?”
Aki: “She would That’s why mamma would be so angry if I did that with you.”
Max: “What happens if you never tell her? And just tell her we’re going on vacation.”
Aki: Laughs. “Mamma would find out.”
Max: “Really? How?”
Aki: “She has like a 6th sense about these things.”
Max: “a 6th sense? What does that mean?”
Aki: “It means, like, she can read minds.”
Max: “A mind flayer can read minds.”
Aki: “So mamma’s a mind flyer in disguise?”
Max wants to work at a sardine factory when he grows up. He said he will give me 100 free sardines every 5 days (“How do you call 5 days?” — he thought there is another word for it like 7 days is called a week)
Friday
I picked Max up from school. We went to Chipotle:
then PetSmart. They had no cats, but we looked at the fish, crabs, lizards, snakes, hamsters, and all other animals, as usual.
Then Bricks and Minifigs store:
where we purchased a Lego baby for Newey and Mama and Aki and Maxi:
Then Black Gold:
Then Peter Rabbit, the movie, in Highlands Ranch… all without going home!
Saturday
Max read Eloise’s Summer Vacation, and then I read The GingerBread Man to him (the Ed Arno version that was read to me as a boy) to him. This was perhaps the 3rd time I’d read it to him. The next day, Max read 1/3 of it to ME.
We watched one or two Adventure Time season 9 episodes:
then went to Christopher’s 9th birthday party!
[TODO: insert photos]
Afterwards, we went to see the horses at Chatsfield Resevoir. Then Tim Coutts called me, saying he was waiting at Barnes and Noble in Lakewood for us. I’d forgotten, or rather thought we hadn’t agreed upon a time and so it had been called off, but apparently we’d agreed to 3 PM, and it was already 3:30. We raced to Barnes and Noble. Max met Tim and his wife, Margaret, and they were delighted with him. While we talked, Max roamed the bookstore — something I did as a child with my father.
Later, after Tim and Margaret had left, I sat with Max and we read a lot of Dungeons and Dragons books which we’d already perused at Black Gold the night before. He really wants this one, so I’ll get it for his birthday:
He’s obsessed with Mind Flayer colonies.
We spent hours there, after Tim left, reading through books and playing with toys (but, surprisingly, mostly reading). We sat on the floor of the aisles and read, just like I did when I was a boy at Encore books,with my father in the War section and me in Science Fiction & Fantasy section.
Finally, we had dinner at Olive Garden (yechhh), where Max accidentally ordered video games at the table. He thought I would be mad at him, but I knew it was a mistake on his part–he wasn’t reading the screen, just pressing buttons. We drove home and went to sleep.
Sunday
Another morning of reading Eloise’s Summer Vacation and The GingerBread Man, breakfast, Adventure Time season 9, and a shower that was difficult to have Max take (“I don’t take showers in the mornings!” — and he really doesn’t — so this was new for him).
Then off to Chipotle for lunch and Castlewood Canyon for the abandoned dam! He loved that hike. He kept saying afterwards that he likes having a destination for the hike. We stopped at the ranger station first, where they had rattlesnake shedded skins, lots of stuffed animals (real ones, not stuffies!), etc. A ranger told us that most of the petrified wood in the park is gone, but you can still find some if you go to places where others hiker’s haven’t been. This stuck with Max, and he was obsessed with staying off the path in the beginning of the hike, rattlesnake skins and petrified wood, while I was afraid of losing the trail altogether.
We saw a porcupine on the way, hanging out in a tree. We had sword fights and climbed rocks, playing King of the Mountain. We jumped over streams, looking for fish and crayfish. We ran through the fields, giving each other wedgies. We played at the playground. It was magical, even if I was exhausted for no apparent reason.
[insert photos]
Finally, we went food shopping then home. Max played a little kindle while I started dinner. Karolina came home after driving 6 hours from Cordillera. She confronted Max about lying to her about not having homework last week, so Max was banned from playing kindle or watching TV.
We ate salmon and vegetables, I worked for an hour the first time in 2 1/2 days, then all went to sleep.
a great weekend!
I’ve been working long hours, not seeing Karolina and Max much at all. Karolina told me that Max keeps asking when I’ll be home. This morning, before school, he asked me when I’ll come home earlier from work so that I can read him the DogMan book we started reading last week. It’s one of the first books he’s fallen in love with. Prior to this, I can only remember Charlie and the Chocolate Factory generating so much excitement.
When I came home from work, the first thing Max asked is if we could continue reading the book. It’s such a joy to see him fall in love with a book.
UPDATE: Max cried later, while we read. The cat father gave away his new son. The father would do anything to get rid of him, and when he finally did, the father came home and was upset. He looked at drawing his son had drawn of them together. He ran out of the house looking for his son but couldn’t find him. Just like Lies My Father Told Me, Max asked me why it has to be so sad. He cried a lot. It was very emotional for me to see it.
I told Max that is what makes a good book, a book that makes you feel.
In the end, the cat father and son were reunited