Elliot said he was sad and crying at school today. He missed me and wanted me there. I got butterflies in my stomach. I told him how I missed him, too, and wanted to be with him.

Yesterday there was no school for Elliot and Max. I went to Karolina’s apartment to pick up Elliot. He had no qualms leaving them, except that he wanted to bring his new “Jitsu” stretch toy with him. I wonder why Karolina says exchanges are difficult for Elliot.

We went to the mailbox where his shark tooth necklace had arrived! He was SO excited and insisted on wearing right away. He wore it to his swim lesson with Bowen and Kim:

Elliot told me all night how his friends at school are going to want to touch it. Elliot will say “no”. And they will go home and ask their Daddys for their own shark tooth necklaces.

He loves this thing! He told me I have to get a “Hannukah necklace”. “You mean Jewish star?” He said yes, is a Jewish star necklace a Hannukah necklace?

Today, Maya joined us in the car on the way to the school. He was excited to show her his necklace. She was not too excited about it.

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He asked me twice this morning if I am happy. I smiled, hugged and kissed him, and told him “of course!” And how happy I am that we are together again.

Whenever Elliot hurts himself, he says “I’m sorry.” For instance, last night he hit his head on the top of the bed. I said, “oh are you ok??”. And he’s replied, “I’m sorry.” I hugged him. I wonder why he apologizes for that.

While in bed, he asked if I remember the time he woke up, came to me in my bedroom, and peed on the floor. It was a couple of weeks ago and the middle of the night. He needed to go to the toilet, but he doesn’t go alone yet.

He apologized and said he peed. I thought he had peed in his bed — which has not happened yet! (He’s been fully toilet trained since sometime in July or August). We went to his bed. I searched his sheets but nothing was wet. When i touched him, though, his pajamas were wet. It turned out he peed on the floor, through his pajamas, next to my bed waiting for me to wake up!

We laughed about it.

Elliot thinks that whenever we order something online, it arrives in the mailbox immediately. It is adorable.

He calls all mail “email”. There is no difference between the two: he’s a real child of the digital age.

The other day, we ordered a shark tooth necklace for him from Etsy. Well of course no amount of persuasion could convince him the necklace wouldn’t be there, and I did not try too hard anyway because I’ve tried before.

So we put on our snow boots and walked down the street to the mailbox. He insisted on walking, I think, so that he could look up into the mailbox himself rather than be tied down in his car seat.

I opened the box with the key and took out the mail, showing him no shark tooth necklace. The he said something new, “what about 7?” He meant box #7. He wanted me to open another mailbox. “That’s not our box. That’s someone else’s.”

Elliot wasn’t upset; I’d already set his expectations, but he had to see for himself. A harbinger of the future. The best learning is done through one own’s experience. No parents’ teaching is as valuable.

This morning, Elliot asked if Grandpa Marty and Noodles could come over. He explained that I would talk to Grandpa Marty, and he would play with Noodles. Specifically, he wants a snake-toy for cats, a snake on a fishing rod with string. Noodles would jump and play and Grandpa Marty and I would sit and talk.

Last night, he asked where is the YaYa? I told him I gave it to another man. “Why?” he asked.

We went to a pediatric ENT doctor, meeting Karolina at the office. Elliot has persistent bloody noses that are the result of dryness. But at the end of the appointment, Elliot asked several times, “I be with Daddy? I want to go with Daddy.” Fortunately, it was still my parenting day so we both got our wish to be together again.

This morning, Elliot asked if he could watch TV while I made breakfast (“fruhstuck”). I said yes, and then he said “But first,

The first time I told him we have to do homework he cried now he’s reminding me about it. I know that won’t last.

We did flash card sight words.

Elliot and I watched videos and pictures of his 1st birthday party at Garden Preschool and at home. He was intrigued and engrossed. At the end he said, “Daddy, thank you”.

My book club is reading “Piranesi”, which I finished last night. It started out wonderfully with a mediocre middle and ending. But the final five paragraphs were majestic. Piranesi recognizes that our world is a beautiful house just like the one he left. “The Beauty of the House is immeasurable; its Kindness infinite.”

Tonight in bed, Elliot said to me, “I always love you.”

He says “Daddy? I love you” all the time. So often that I am quite amazed. Definitely once per hour on average and sometimes more. But this is the first time I’ve heard him say , “I always love you.” Of course my heart melted all over again. “I love you, too, Elliot. No matter what.”

This was after reading 6 books: Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood, Duck in the Truck, At The Old Haunted House, Cowboy and Octopus (one of my favorites), and Elliot’s new favorite Charles the Dog.

He also told me he loves Milky Cat, who was in bed with us and Keecha cat. I told a Pizza Kitten bed time story, of course.

He asked me to buy eyeball candy. To be sure I knew what he meant, i pulled up a picture of Trolli Glotzer Eyeball gummies.

He told me how he will grow big while he sleeps. He told me how the gummies make his poop soft (he means the fiber gummies). I reminded him the fish oil makes him grow smart and strong.

We remembered how he learned to use Max’s scooter today, and that we bought a new one (3-wheeler) after the play date with Liam and his sisters.

He played “Star Walk Kids 2”, a learning app about the stars, planets, galaxies, constellations, and Haley’s Comet. He loves this game and has played it a lot. He gravitated towards the quizzes.

Last night in bed, after reading books to Elliot, he said, “How about Grandpa Marty and Noodles live here?” He means in this house.

This morning, there was a thick layer of fog in the backyard and across the open space and trail. Elliot was intrigued. He had never seen anything like it before. “I can’t see the houses!” (Across the open space are a series of houses).

I explained the fog is a cloud that came down from the sky. He wanted to say “frog” but finally got it right.

When the sun started to warm and the fog dissipated, he said “now I can see houses. Where did the fog go?”

So I explained the fog went back into the sky.

I’m designing a chart for home, so I asked the Purple Room what they use. Here it is.

Last night in the car, I was strapping Elliot into his car seat and there is a miasma. I say, “did you fart?” And he says, “yes, jungle fart!”

I don’t know where he learned “jungle fart”, and I know I shouldn’t laugh or he’ll repeat it, but I laughed. And laughed some more. And so did he. So I guess I’ll be hearing more about jungle farts in the future…

Max, Elliot, and I were going to meet at the Main Event arcade when Karolina’s car battery stopped working in the Garden Preschool parking lot. I drove there to jump start the car. The kids were in the car with Karolina.

I opened Elliot’s car door to greet them. There were birthday wishes and then Elliot asked, “where are all the kids?” And will there be kids for my birthday? It was adorable.

Elliot picked some snow off my car and ate it. Karolina rebuked him. Elliot got upset. He came to me, I picked him up, and I comforted him (hug, kiss, back patting).

Karolina approached, and Elliot turned from her, groaning, and leaned into me.

She did not focus on positive behavior, positive direction. She did not tell him why he was rebuked or redirect him to eat the clean snow. In fact, she said nothing about it further and moved on with her life.

Later that evening, after emerging from two hours at the Main Event with me and Max, Elliot asked me why he could not eat snow.

He has eaten snow with me plenty of times. I said what I’ve said to him several times before: “you can eat snow, but get the clean, fresh snow. Don’t eat it off of cars or the ground or anything else unless it is untouched and even then, only take the top. Don’t scoop so low that you get the part touching the car or the ground.”

He might not have understood that last part, the part about scooping too low, but he understood the part about fresh, untouched snow. We picked some up and ate it with relish!

They sang happy birthday to me. There was a King Soopers cake with candles because Elliot had been asking if there would be one, according to Karolina. Elliot joyously blew out the candles.

Karolina did not stay.

The best part for me was the drive to Karolina’s apartment with just Elliot and Max. After we listened to “Space Unicorn” (requested by Elliot) and then “Last in Line (requested by Max as the “elevator song” because of the video), I had 20 minutes to talk to Max. We had not spoken since two minutes on Christmas Day — 20 days ago — when he was very distant. We hadn’t seen each other in 6 weeks (Dec 6 for Hannukah at the house).

We talked about his computer. A new motherboard that he wants. Liquid cooling system that he wants. He recounted a computer Whitney told him about that costs $1000/minute to run. I told him about the new James Webb telescope and how we’ll be able to see farther back in time and distance than ever before. That prompted a long discussion about why looking far away also means looking back in time; that even the light we see from our sun is about 8 minutes old.

We talked about the hermit crabs, fish, and lobster he used to have. Elliot was very interested in this. Max mentioned that Karolina had taken care of those animals. That hurt. He doesn’t remember or know of all of the tanks, heat lamps, terrarium and fish tanks props, and food I bought online. The props in particular he should remember because he picked out some of it at pet stores with me.

We talked about Shonen Jump and that someone is selling stacks of them, maybe a complete set, for $400 on Facebook Marketplace. He asked if I could sign him up for Robux again. I told him to call me and I’d read my credit card to him over the phone.

Elliot mentioned he killed some zombies on max’s computer. Max clarified that they played some low-quality zombie killer together.

I handed him $20 and he said what is this for? I said “spending money”. He said thank you. I wondered if he remembered the $100 I gave to him for summer camp. He said Karolina did give him the Hannukah money I gifted him. He is going to use it towards the motherboard and liquid cooling equipment.

I asked if he wanted to go to Microcenter with me to buy that computer equipment. We could bring his computer to the house and build it there. I don’t remember what he said , but later he asked if I would go with him to Microcenter to buy those things. He said he is shy and did not know how to ask the people who work there for help. I told him of course I’d go. And he said he did not want to move the computer, so I guess he’s on his own building it. I have confidence in him.

I told him there’s a bed for him in his bedroom in case he ever wants to sleep over (Elliot chimed in and said he is going to help me build it). I said if he ever needs anyone to talk to or needs help with anything at all, I am always there for him. And I told him I love him and always will.

We talked about many things. Elliot mostly just listened to us. It’s been a long time some he’s heard us converse like that, so maybe he forgot Max and I did that. And that parents can talk about common interests together. It was good for him to hear it, to see it modeled.

Elliot did interrupt at least once. The one I remember most is when Max and I were talking about the Shonen Jump books/magazines, and Max started talking about other manga books he likes these days. Elliot said something like, “Daddy, remember the book store?” And then he started talking about a book I did not remember. I said, “yeah! And remember the wizard hat and Dragons Love Tacos 2?!!”

Max asked what this was about. I told him that Elliot and I often go to Barnes & Noble, usually Thursday after school before Elliot’s piano lesson.

Elliot just wanted to participate and contribute to the conversation Max and I B were having. It was so precious and remarkable that he already has the social acumen to contribute in a meaningful, relevant way rather than, say, changing the topic.

Why is it difficult to throw out well-worn clothes that don’t fit Elliot anymore? These are 2T or 3T size and are not even nice. Somehow this represents Elliot’s continuing maturity, his growing up, which I both want and don’t want at the same time.

I framed a photo of my family when I was 10. While showing it to elliot and saying “that’s daddy, that’s cocha mara, that’s uncle Michael, and that’s my daddy and mommy”, he said

(Pointing to my parents): “ I want to meet them . When can I meet them? I love them” or the last sentence was “ I would love them”, I’m not exactly sure.

This is the second time he’s said this. First time was with another photo of my parents a few days ago.