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Max: “i’m crying because I might never see him again.”

“Who?”

“Weird Al. At least your dreams came true. Mine didn’t. All I wanted to do was shake his hand.”

“He’ll do meet-and-greet again. Next time he comes to Denver.”

“What if he doesn’t? I just want to be alone and stop crying.”

We’ve had so many discussions like this. He is so upset about not talking to Weird Al or shaking his hand. And in the photos, he is standing far away from him.

It’s been very difficult for me. In the beginning, he blamed this on me because I did speak to Weird Al briefly and did shake his hand. I asked Weird Al what the coolest piece of memorabilia was that he’d seen that evening. He mentioned a magazine from 1983 in which he was interviewed as well as my “Another One Rides the Bus” 45 record (his first record). I thought it came out in 1979, but he corrected me and said, without hesitation, 1981.

I also told Weird Al that I first listened to him on Dr. Dimento, to which he didn’t say anything. He didn’t say much at all and the whole thing felt very rushed.

Last night, max was playing with Lego. He made up a story for the characters and was acting it out. He was using the same play voice he’s used since he was a toddler, but this time I could understand him ☹️    It wasn’t his usual baby-style of talking.

According to Max, Mia the Christian in his class says “Moms and God make babies.” This from a 9-year old girl.

Day 3. Karolina and Newey are still in the “hostabul“.

Max: “I wish Newey was 7 years old when he was born.”

Me: “Why?”

Max: “So I could already play with him.”

Me: “But no babies are born that way.”

Max: “No, Coward Babies are”

Me: “What’s a Coward Baby?

Max: “It’s when a mother gets a C-section. The doctor is trying to find the baby and pull him out, but he is hiding. The baby hides for 7 years, until he is too big for the mama and can’t hide anymore.”

Me: Laughing.

After seeing Newey for the first time, and after we were alone getting pudding and jello together in the hospital kitchen, Max says to me:

“Do you feel any different?

Me: “No. Do you?”

Max: “Yes. Who will Mama love more?”

The doctor’s first comment after seeing Newey out of the womb was that Newey had a prominent dimple in his chin.

Max is grossed out by the extra piece of skin next to Newey’s ear. I told him that in rare circumstances, the skin can survive after the doctor removes it. It can then grow a heart, lungs, brain and grow into a small person, a midget or a dwarf. And Max will have to bring him to show-and-tell at school saying, “This is my other little brother.” We have to choose a name for it.

Max and I had another crazy, epic weekend day so that Karolina could do her own thing before Newey is born tomorrow.

As I write this, it’s 10 PM. Newey is due in 9 1/2 hours. This is my last evening before him. I had a moment of giddiness this afternoon, butterflies in the stomach. Everyone tells me that my life is about to change completely and irrevocably. I think Tim and Margaret Coutts’ phrasing of it yesterday at Barnes and Noble really hit it home for me.

But what will it be like? Will I be so stricken with love that I won’t care about anything else? Will I gaze into his eyes and see my parents and my grandparents? Will I cry uncontrollably for Mom and Dad not being here to see him? There are some many other possibilities. What is it like to feel like I’d do anything for this person? Will he be healthy? Will he come down with mental illness later in life? Will I smile just by looking at him? Will I see myself when I look at him? Will he have Karolina’s beautiful blue eyes or my family’s hazel? Will he laugh easily and be a happy-go-lucky child like I was? Will he be lean and long, like Karolina, and have her insight and wisdom?

Although we’ve already decided to name him Elliot with the Hebrew name Melech, after my father, we haven’t firmly decided on one or several middle names:

• Elliot Wolf Jung — Wolf is the maiden name of my grandmother and Karolina and I have a soft spot for wolves. I had posters of wolves in my room even when I was a child.
• Elliot Emet Wolf Jung (Emet, or truth, is the word written on the Golem’s forehead)
• Elliot Max Wolf Jung — for my beloved Uncle Max and, of course, his half-brother
• Elliot Martin Wolf Jung — Martin for my father
• Elliot Abe/Abraham Wolf Jung — I only mentioned this once to Karolina. I don’t think she liked it. Uncle Abe was another beloved uncle of mine, different side of the family, who I was very close to as an adult in my 20s. He lived in Toronto then, after a lifetime in Brooklyn with his Canadian Jewish wife, Ethel

I’m not a big fan of two middle names, but we’ll see. Naming ceremony isn’t for a week. I hope we do not have to name him in the hospital 9 hours.

Here’s what Max and I did today. I’m exhausted.

Botanical Gardens Chatfield Farms, not far from the house

Clue Room in Centennial (alice in wonderland theme)

Lunch at Tokyo Joe’s — Max’s new favorite place

Dart Mania in Englewood! (his favorite part of the day)

Mt Falcon Park Hike in Morrison

2-hour hike. We didn’t make it to the abandoned castle because we left from the wrong parking lot; it was just too far.

It was a very strenuous hike at times, and this guy was hiking up without footwear, no shirt, and carrying what I guessed to be a 30-pound rock on shoulders. There was  another man following him recording the entire event. It was quite impressive.

Then dinner at Whole Foods and Dunkin’ Donuts afterwards — strawberry frosted donut for Max, as usual. And finally, Hyperspace. I don’t have any photos from that night, but here’s one from our first time there.

The Narrative

And throughout the day, we listened to disc after disc of Star Wars Death Troopers on audio book, which we rented a couple of weeks ago from Talking Books Plus in Englewood. Max’s choice.

These photos were actually taken on April 8, 2018 (11 days ago):

Today was Max’s first fencing tournament. He won fourth place with a medal! He then went to Jackson’s birthday party at the aquarium, wearing his fencing outfit and medal proudly, according to Karolina. Finally, the 3 of us went to see Isle of Dogs in the theatre, Karolina’s first experience with reclining seats (and my 3rd)

This is also the first weekend we’ve had the cats in Littleton. They are keeping me up all night crying (mostly Pepi). I’m exhausted. They are here because Karolina is due in 2 weeks and can’t travel to Cordillera anymore until after the birth.

It’s already been more than a week since Max’s birthday and party. It was such a great weekend — Max and Karolina stayed in Littleton for the most part. On the morning of his birthday, we gave him some great gifts: Lego Death Star (insert photo), D&D Starter kit, with Volo’s book and