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Friday – we went to a smores hike at Backcountry Base Camp (Highlands Ranch) without the smores due to fire risk. Elliot cried on the way there, thinking there would only be babies since that what it was like last time we went to Basecamp (for storytime). But there were no babies, as I told him, because it was a hike. We had a good time and he played with a 6-year old boy named Frederick Harris who just moved here 4 days ago from Memphis, Tennessee. Hopefully, we will have playdates with him in the future.

Saturday – we skipped Shabbat services so that I could clean, and we went grocery shopping before Jonny Lis and his father, Greg, arrived for the afternoon. We played minecraft and other games like Golden Axe, then played in the pool. Elliot got frustrated with Jonny towards the end. Jonny wanted to play video games all day but, surprisingly, Elliot said he wanted a break from video games. I was very proud of him for this unexpected behavior. At the end of the play date, we watched an episode of Adventure Time in the basement. Elliot was getting antsy; he wanted Jonny to go. He didn’t want a play date anymore. It had been 4 hours and it was enough.

He said, “I’m going to use the sauna soon. You can’t be here when I use the sauna.” I told him that’s not polite to say. It was the 2nd time I had to say that. He’d wanted Jonny to leave for quite some time. After Jonny left, we talked about it. I explained how to say these things appropriately. We role played. I pretended to be Jonny and Elliot told me his feelings in a polite manner.

Saturday night we watched E.T. – The Extra Terrestrial for the first time. ELLIOT LOVED IT! We both cried when E.T. died and also at the end when Elliot and E.T. said goodbye.

“E.T. is a great movie because it gives us big feelings. Those are the best movies. And good books do the same. They give me big, strong feelings. That’s why I love to read,” I said to Elliot.

When I later asked Elliot his favorite part, he said it was when E.T. died. He chose the most tragic part of the film as his favorite because he recognized the power of how it made him feel.

Sunday – we went to Olivia Ott’s 6th birthday party. Elliot was the only boy there. Then we went shopping and to the Renaissance Fair (2nd time this summer). Unfortunately, it was pouring rain so we decided not to enter. We met the Elsters there, who also had Piper. They were just leaving, and it was their first time ever going. They’d spent the whole day there. We met them for ice cream in Castle Rock (photo above).

Sunday Night – The highlight of the weekend, besides watching E.T. together, was walking to King Soopers again on the bike path, like we did in the Spring, I think. Elliot used his scooter. I walked and ran with the new weight vest. We were fast getting there. We sat in a swing for a while outside King Soopers. Elliot used his scooter inside of King Soopers; that was special. He wanted to go to Abo’s Pizza (now High Society Pizza), but I said no because he would only eat 1 slice and really just wanted to go there to play video games on my phone. I told him to play video games on the swing for a bit. Two photos of us on the swing are above.

Finally, we walked home and it took a couple of hours, unlike the very quick walk getting there. Elliot got hurt by catapulting forwards on his scooter and onto his face. His legs were scraped. He cried; some pain but more fear I think. I held him tight and told him I’m here. I felt terrible for him. But he got over it quickly and then had to pee in the bushes. We continued to go home exceedingly slowly, I think because it is a gradual uphill slope and Elliot told me he was hurt. That frustrated me so I decided to do very slow walking meditation. I want to be infinitely patient with him. I did not show my impatience. I know someday I will walk slowly, and he will be impatient with me.

We saw and saved many beetles on the sidewalk.

The Straw

On Sunday morning, Elliot was eating breakfast and he kept spilling his water. He did it 2 or 3 times. I said I would give him a sippy cup if he did it again. He did not like that, being treated like a baby. So I said, “Ok, what else can we do so you don’t spill?”

Remarkably, Elliot had a great idea. He went to the kitchen and retrieved his purple plastic pterodactyl straw. He didn’t spill water again. I am impressed with his creativity. I am impressed with the way he controls his emotions. I am impressed with his kindness. He is such a good kid.

We walked at dusk and then the night on the bike path – Elliot’s idea! He loved it. We walked all the way to the Goblin King tunnels then remembered we left Grendel outside in the dark and tried to get home quickly. Elliot was crying intermittently saying Grendel is his favorite cat and he’s afraid the bicodies will get her. We found a dead racoon on the way home! Went back FIRST THING the next morning and it was gone.

Elliot in Zev’s new race car, July 6, 2024

Lamb Spring Archeological Dig, July 6, 2024

Shooting an atlatl at Lamb Spring

Finding a bone and antler at Lamb Spring

I met Tim and Margaret Coutts at Barnes and Noble this morning. Tim asked, “what is Elliot like now?” even though he’d seen him maybe 6 months ago.

Here are some of the things I said.

Right now Elliot is using the bathroom for the first time without me. Previously, I always had to “hover” nearby.

Father’s Day trip to Jefferson Lake

Father’s Day trip to Jefferson Lake

The Kona Ice truck was around the corner near the pool.

“Daddy, can I go get ice cream?”

“By yourself?”

“Yes”, he said.

It was his idea!!

“Ok, I’ll wait inside and unpack our stuff”, I said.

“Can you wait on the porch?” Elliot asked.

“You’ll be ok. Here’s some money. They will give you change.”

“The is ten dollars?” he asked.

“Yes.”

I went inside and off he went! Such a change! He is growing up.

When he returned with ice cream and $5, I bent down, kissed and hugged him and, smiling, I said “You should be proud of yourself.”

He was. And I am so proud of him. This was a real moment of joy and progress. Typing it now, I am about to cry.

“When I’m 7 you’ll still be a grown-up?” Elliot has asked me this several times. I’m not sure what he thinks might happen, so I’ve said I won’t be a kid again.

Elliot just turned 6 a couple of weeks ago.

“Daddy, for my 7th birthday will you get me a radiation suit from Walgreens so we can go to Levada?” (He means Nevada)

Elliot told me he wanted to go to Abos by himself. But he needed me to go with him first so he could learn the way. Then the next time he went , he’d take my phone and use the map on it.

We went early by scooter and bicycle. It was a long trip. We took the sidewalk, not the bike path.

Elliot asked me to wait outside, to give him money so he could order alone.

Looking for the crosses

The gym

The ride back. Resting by the waterfall.

Meditating – twice – by Elliot’s request outdoors.

“Everybody day is a gift and God made it.”

“I love nature”

Going to O’Fallen Park. Exploring. Picnic. The abandoned chimney he liked.

Going to the frog pool. He asked me to play music that makes me cry, like Time In a Bottle and songs by Barbara Streisand, Barry Manilow, etc. from my “old family”

He told me my mother is in my heart. God is always with me. And, “You have me now.”

Hiding in the lockers at the frog pool: he doesn’t fit n in the small ones anymore. He’s 48” and 53-54 pounds now, just like my age.

Coming home late and making dinner. He wants to watch and I’m all too happy to give it to book with so many hours outdoors today.

“I’m not crying; I’m just tired,” Elliot said to me after being seated in the car seat of Karolina’s car.

We’d just spent 6 days together. Every moment of those 6 days, culminating in his 6th birthday party at the house with Max and Karolina and me.

Every morning he wakes up telling me how excited he is for his birthday. I’m so happy for him and hope I can make it special.

All he’s asked for are three things:

1. Crampons (yes, it’s spring)

2. An indestructible rainbow cup

3. An “afmau” stuffed animal

I love this about him: that he is not fulfilled by things and toys and doesn’t need “stuff”

We went on a beautiful scooter and bike ride on the bike path, exploring. It’s an almost daily thing now. He loves the outdoors!

“How did you learn so much about nature?” he asked me yesterday on a similar outing.

Tonight we are going to the Passover Seder at Chabad in Lone Tree. Loop

“I’m not crying. I’m just tired,” Elliot said as we stood face-to-face in the school hallway.

It was the first Kabbalat Shabbat I was going to miss. Elliot had tears streaming down his cheeks but wasn’t sobbing. He is only 5 and in kindergarten.

I felt awful. I felt like when I’d leave him in Pre-K and younger when I’d attend Shabbat Party but then left for the day – sometimes at 10:00. He cried then, too, but even more than now. He’s growing up.

“I’m sorry. I have to go to the doctor,” I said.

“Can’t you come for a few minutes?” he asked.

I couldn’t. I hugged him. I was already kneeling as I almost always do when we talk.

On the way out, I mentioned to Avi the principal that Elliot was crying because I could not stay for Kabbalat Shabbat.

“A life lesson,” he said.

Indeed. Why must we separate? Why must there be such pain?

“Hold me tight,” he said. A cool breeze blew over us. He sat on my lap and the South Platte ran beside us. A beautiful Spring day, sunshine glittering on the shallow water. “I’m cold,” he said.

I pulled my arms around him even tighter, gently rubbing him for warmth. We didn’t speak. We listened and watched the beauty of this moment together; the white noise of the running water, the smooth rocks, the trout, the glimmering sunshine, the gentle wind, the mountains beyond. Spring in Colorado: I couldn’t fathom Michener’s distaste for the South Platte in “Centennial“. He’d never been to this part of the river.

I started to sing “Rocky Mountain High” in his ear. I sang it like when I was 5. It wasn’t a cliche then or another Rick Astley-style meme. It hadn’t been coopted by environmental groups, made into a State Anthem, or sang at bars and Colorado stadiums filled with drunken johnny-come-latelys. It was my song and I gave it to him.

“Talk to God and listen to the casual reply… Rocky Mountain High…”

“Is that man Jewish?”, he asks.
“Ha, no. He was Christian,” I said.
“And he died in a plane crash?”
“Yes”, I said.
“I’m half Christian. I’m half Jewish”, he says.
“Yes. Maybe someday you will be all Jewish. I would like that. But it will always be your choice,” I reply.
“Maybe when I’m a grown up I’ll be all Jewish.”

We sit for a while longer in the quiet of the white noise. I love this about my son: he can be so still, calm, and present. He can be stimulated by nature.

“Look! Gold!”, I exclaim.
“Where!? Where!?!!”

I get up and move both of us to a sand bar. There are gold flakes throughout. Even more in the riverbed.

“Wow, real gold!” He’s so excited now. “I want to keep it. How can we keep it?”

We retrieve a jar from the car, it’s previous contents a precious collection of animal bones and the skull of a small mammal — booty from our last adventure at the abandoned cabin in Cordillera. We scoop a bunch of sand into the jar to bring home. Then we marvel at the gold in the river, how small the flakes but how common now that we look closely. They’re everywhere.

Elliot dreams of different ways to separate the gold.

Eventually, we head to the next destination down the road: the abandoned South Platte Hotel from the 1800s. Max and I were there on Bastille Day 2019, and Elliot has asked to see an abandoned hotel. Why did he think of that specifically? I don’t know. I immediately thought of the South Platte Hotel near Deckers.

But I like this destination more. We will return. Maybe I’ll get gold panning equipment first.

When I’m afraid, I will take refuge in this memory. I love being a dad.

Much different 5 years ago with Max…

Elliot was so excited to explore an abandoned cabin, find rusted artifacts, and animal bones including the skull of something like a marmot. Just like his dad. Just like his grandfather, too.

There were other cabins he really wanted to explore, but they required trudging through feet of snow, and we were not equipped. This was in Cordillera. Elliot wanted to see the house where he spent time as a newborn, but more importantly… explore the cabins.

We took the bones. I did not model taking the “sauce” (artifacts) because I don’t want to carry these things around for years.