Elliot is playing “Sardines!” and said, “I’m not Jewish because I ate a crab!”
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“Daddy, do you trust me?”
“Of course I do.”
“What’s trust mean?”
Last night, in bed, I explained again that there is no more Garden Preschool. No more pre-k. He won’t go back to that school and instead will go to the school with the goats and chickens (DJDS). And no more nap time. First he told me he was happy; he hates that school (Garden).
“Because it’s full of babies?” I asked.
“Yes”, he replied, but then “Why no more nap time?”
He’s asked about that before. He really wants nap time to continue. And I wish it could continue; I think it is good for his brain development.
Later, after having read some books in bed, Elliot said he wants to stay in pre-school.
“Why? Do you like it?” I asked.
“Yes, I like it,” he said.
“You’ve been going there for almost 5 years, almost your whole life. I understand. It’s a big change.”
I hugged him. I told him I will help him.
The other day, we were at the Club Greenwood pool with Sagi, Rebecca, Ella, and Maya. Ella and Elliot wanted me to play with them in the pool, and I did for a long time. I threw them around. I did Crazy Bronco. Elliot insisted that I wait at the bottom of the water slide for him, and coached him down the slide with calls of “do the cucumber! do the carrot! do the celery! do the banana!” even though he is now tall enough to stand in the entire length of the pool and does not need any kind of float.
But then I took at break. Elliot followed me around the grounds for a while as he usually does. I began a conversation with Sagi and, after a while, I noticed Elliot was gone. I searched for him and found him playing in the pool with Ella. Without me. There were many lifeguards and other children, so he was safe. But he didn’t need me to guide his play.
I felt some relief; relief that he can play without me even when I am present. Relief to have a brief break. He did not know I was watching him.
Oh, he and Ella still coaxed me into playing with them again. But Elliot is learning independence.
Something similar happened over the weekend in the house. Elliot was able to stay in bed when I went downstairs to make coffee. He usually follows me from room to room, as if a very short invisible tether attaches us. Even if I leave a room and quickly turn back to retrieve something, Elliot follows me; he turns back as if the tether was a mere two feet long, not wanting to be alone even for the briefest of moments. Needless to say, he follows me into the bathroom and everywhere else, too, and insists that I be with him when he needs to the bathroom. But this time, when I went downstairs for coffee, he did not follow, and he did not beg for me to come back. He just waited in the bed. Alone. When I came back, he was flipping through a book.
Opening day at the Indigo Hill pool the day before – Saturday 5/27/2023
Shabbat services 5/28/2023. I thanked everyone for raising Elliot for the last 4 1/2 years.
I had to put Elliot in front of a screen so i could work — there is no Pre-K today because of Shavuot. He’s watching, for the first time, a show I watched when I was his age (and maybe younger). He seems to really like it! I’m very surprised. I did not think it would still have appeal. He’s 5 now.
Last night Elliot said to me, “Daddy, this is real life?”
“Do you mean right now?” I asked.
“Yes”, he said.
Some photos from Pre-K and afterwards, playing with me in the stream and soccer field. The girls are Sadie and Aviva Rosenthal.
“Mama told me I won’t get old!”
“Mama said I won’t die!”
“Mama said I’m not Jewish”
I asked Elliot, “remember last time we were together and you said i hit you and yelled at you?” Elliot said yes. Then I said “Whose words were those?” (My therapist suggested that). He didn’t even hesitate. Elliot said “mama’s”.
Meanwhile, he said “mama hit me in the chest and I fell down because it hurt.”
“She was angry?” I asked
“Yes”, he said.
“I’m sorry, Elliot. Did you cry? How did you feel?” i asked
Elliot changed the subject by asking to hear a song he likes.
Elliot’s preschool graduation is next week! The school asked for 5 photos, one for each year, for a movie they are making of the children. I sent these.
Age 8 months. January 1, 2019.
March 22, 2022. Almost 2 year old
April 23, 2021 – Age 3
August 23, 2021 – Age 3 years, 4 months
May 20, 2022 – Age 4 (I almost sent this one but send the one from August 22, 2022 instead)
Aug 22, 2022 – Age 4
May 13, 2023 – Age 5
Today was the last Shabbat party at Elliot’s preschool. I’ve stayed for many of them. Usually I’m the only parent who stays. I love these little parties.
The whole school, all ages and all teachers, go into the gym to sing songs, eat challah, drink grape juice and, at the end, dance.
Many of Elliot’s class wants to sit on my lap, dance with me, or have me pick them up, especially Aviva, Liam, Wellington, Piper, and a boy whose name I can’t remember. Sometimes Darien, too, and that is challenging for me since Darien is often mean to Elliot.
Leaving Elliot after these parties is difficult for him. I’ve usually stayed an hour in the classroom before the party even begins, playing with Elliot, guiding him through practicing writing his name, reading books, then clean-up time and line-up for the gym. Another 30 minutes for the party, and by then he really really does not want me to leave. He often has tears and won’t let go of me. I need the help of teachers.
Other drop-offs are like that, too, but not as difficult for him.
It’s particularly difficult when the Shabbat party aligns with a 5-day absence, when he knows Karolina is picking him up and we won’t be together for a while.
I’ll miss these little parties.
“Daddy? This spells poop? P-O-O-P?”
I told Elliot how proud I was, and that he should be proud. He can recognize words ( many flash cards ), and we’ve finished 7 lessons of “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons”, but this is the first word he has spelled completely on his own.
I asked where he learned it. He said Maxi taught him.
My trainer, Brigid, said she’d never seen an InBody report like this. It says I need to lose 0.0 pounds of body fat and gain 0.0 pounds of muscle (lean body mass). She said “perfect score”. Yet the mind is an amazing thing – it still tells me I’m not doing enough!
Michael and Jenny stayed with us for almost a week. Quinn slept in Elliot’s bedroom one or two nights while Elliot and I slept in the basement. We had SO much fun! And we saw the Super Mario Brothers movie, the 2nd time for Elliot. It was Quinn’s choice.
I saw Max today at the Chabad Lag B’Omer party. His voice has deepened… a lot.
Elliot and I lied in the grass for a while and told each other the shapes we saw in the clouds. He and Max played in the bouncy castle and ate hot dogs, pickles, and cotton candy. It was a nice time.
“Daddy, why did my grandparents die?”
I pick him up, and we walk over to the photo of my parents.
“Grandpa Marty died because his heart stopped. And Grandma Renee died from cancer.”
“What’s cancer?” he asks.
Later that night, in bed, Elliot sits on my belly and pushes on my chest mimicking CPR. He say, “Why don’t we do this to Grandpa Marty?”
“He’s a skeleton by now, but yes, I know what you mean.”
He recently did the CPR motion on me and asked me what it is for and what it means.
The next day, we threw a cucumber into the Garden Preschool stream again — protection from the Japanese Kappa Monster! We last did it in November 2022.
