Author grimholtz

It had been a long 5 days with Elliot. Great fun together, but he is still not at all independent. He won’t go to the bathroom without me, for example.

And I LOVE that he wants to help me with so many things. Simple things like preparing my coffee machine with filter, coffee, and water. He tries very hard not to spill anything, but he still does. I give him the space and opportunity to fail and try again, without criticism. I encourage him to try and try again. Then I clean up the mess.

So when it was late, and we’d been up since 6:00 AM, I wanted to sleep. I finally corralled Elliot into the bathroom and prepared his toothbrush. He’s still not brushing his own teeth yet, but he has done it once or twice before some weeks ago.

He was standing on the stool in front of the sink, too short without the stool. I was prepare to brush his teeth, but he wanted to play with the faucet or the toy LADA, I forget.

Often he procrastinated brushing at this very moment by saying “hug, hug” or “in love you” and reaching out to hug me. In love when he does that, and it brings my distracted brain crack into the moment… remembering that he won’t always be like that. Cherish it now.

But this time, he wanted to play. I sat down on the floor and tears came to my eyes from frustration. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t sob. I lowered my head.

Elliot said, “daddy, why are you crying?” I didn’t answer. But he picked up his toothbrush and brushed his own teeth!

I lifted my head, smiling at him through tears. I thanked him, told him how much I love him. I told him how good of a boy he is.

Just turned 4, and Elliot has empathy.

It was a huge success!

When I told Elliot he was having a birthday party, he thought he was turning 5. He celebrated 4/23/2022 with Karolina and Max. I planned this party on 4/24/2022 when I learned she did not throw a party. So, telling Elliot about it, he thought he was having another birthday and was turning 5. It was so cute. I had a difficult time getting him to understand, but I think he finally did. He still says (as of mid-May 2022) that he is “4 turning 5 soon.”

So many people at the party and so many presents. Everyone played at the playground for two hours. There was a cake, which Rebecca Elster got for us. At the end, some people came back to our house for more play for another hour.

Elliot turned 4 just for days ago. I tell him about the birthday party he’s having at the playground this coming Saturday.

He asks if his birthday party on Saturday is for his 5th birthday. He’s convinced he’s turning 5 because he had a 4th birthday celebration last Saturday with Karolina and Max.

I tell him it’s another party for his 4th birthday, but I’m not sure he understands because he keeps thinking he will be 5.

Note to Eric: remember how good you felt for Elliot every time the neighborhood boys knocked on our door, asking for Elliot to come out and play. Most of the time he was with Karolina. But Elliot was three years old — THREE! — and these boys are 8 and 9 (Luca, CJ, Connor) and 6 and 7 (Chase).

To get this much joy from a simple wind-up chicken. I love it. I get the same joy vicariously. Elliot is still 3 years old, but turning 4 very soon.

https://youtube.com/shorts/F1EClVpuLhU

YouTube version:

https://youtube.com/shorts/veGPFBlHz0E?feature=share

There was a woman beggar at a red light, University and C-470. I rolled down the window and handed her some money and said “Good luck”.

Elliot, from the backseat, said what did you say to her? I told Elliot that she did not have any money so I gave some to her.

“She didn’t have money for the gumball machine?”

“Did you like that Transformer, Elliot?”

“Yeah! He was really big like you!”

Elliot was dressed as the marshmallow man and 3 different people wanted his photo!

And this morning, we went to the Littleton Museum then did the Easter egg at Kitridge Park next to it. There were hundreds of children, and Elliot LOVED it. At the end he said he has the “mostest” and won. I tried to tell him it wasn’t a contest, but he was too excited. I have some great photos and videos.

On the way to Tai Kwon Do, we passed the “Pasta Place” in the car (Pho 99 Vietnamese Food on County Line). Elliot asked to go there after Tai Kwon Do. So we ate dinner there, including a blueberry “boba tea”.

Elliot used to go to this place with me a lot when he was 2 and 3. Probably once per week for take-out. We would go inside to pickup the food and bring home to Maxi and Karolina.

Elliot would play with the three fountains and get one or two gumballs from the machines while we waited for the food to be ready. In fact, he loved the place so much that we would often go there and order the food rather than call ahead. That way, he had time to play before the food was ready.

But we have not been there perhaps a year; since the divorce started. I am impressed that he remembered the place by simply by passing it in the car! This is the first time we have eaten at the restaurant rather than had take-out.

We went into the bathroom afterwards (photo on the right). Elliot saw the red plastic IKEA bins in the white IKEA cubby. He said, “Toys in the bathroom?!?!” Because those bins are only ever used for TOYS!

“How does the bunny get the eggs?”

Every time I see Elliot after one of his 5-day stints with Karolina, he has changed in some small way. Maybe his speech is a little more clear or improved, or he’s using a new word, or he’s walking more surely, or he makes some kind of noise or expression that I used to hear Max say…

It’s amazing to see. He’s growing so fast.

The other day, Elliot was so proud of himself because he took off all of his clothes by himself! I love it. Shirts have always been challenging for him because his head is so round. He could not get the hole of the shirt past his head. And pants? He could not get his skinny jeans past his ankles, although sweatpants were not a problem.

The other day, Elliot came into my office. He saw a roll of gift wrapping paper on the floor. “Piper’s birthday!” Or “Piper’s present!”

It was the gift wrapping paper I used to wrap Piper OBrien’s birthday present on March 6. Over a month ago.

How does he remember this detail? Why? Is it normal? He does this often. His memory amazes me.

“Daddy, look how long my shadow is!’ while walking from the car to the supermarket. It is late in the afternoon. I love it when Elliot notices things I don’t.

And here I am the next day, going for a walk without Eliot at about the same time. I see my long shadow and think of him.

“Daddy, how does the air turn to wind?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why?”

Every poop must be named after how it looks. Frankenstein poop, airplane poop, grass poop, challah poop (looks like a small ball like the challah they make on Fridays), snake poop.