Elliot is in Pre-K and every Friday morning, I stay with him until 10:00 AM. First we spend some time in his class room. He practices writing his name, we read a book, play with toys and clean-up. Then it’s “line-up” and we walk to the gym for the Shabbat party (grape juice, challah, candles, songs, dancing, prayers). The entire time, classroom and gym, many of the kids are jumping and crawling all over me, wanting me to play and interact with them. It’s a lot of fun for me. Sometimes Elliot gets jealous of sharing me, but it does not seem he gets upset – I am sure to always make him #1.
And that evening, we went to the Family Shabbat Dinner. It is the first time Elliot put on a “peacock” (keepah) of his own accord.
I love going to these Family / Community Shabbat dinners with Elliot. Some day soon he will be too old to want to go, and they will end. “Whatever arises also passes.” I will miss them so I will enjoy them now!
Today Elliot had a 2-hour group Kindergarten assessment at Denver Jewish Day School. Last week, he had a 30-minute individual screening with Shayna Friedman. Afterwards, she said “Elliot is such a delight. I could spend all day with him.” Here is what she wrote today in email:
Hi Karolina and Eric,
We had the best time with Elliot this morning! He was just delightful! The entire group really did well together. Elliot made fast friends with another student visitor, and was kind and friendly to everybody including the grown-ups facilitating. I loved how he used a pipe cleaner to give his paper bag puppet hair! That was so clever!
Please do not hesitate to reach out with any questions as they arise. Thank you for working with us!
Warmly,
Shayna Shayna Friedman she/her/hers Director of Admission Denver Jewish Day School 720-449-9550 sfriedman@denverjds.org denverjds.org
I tried reading some of the puppet board books to Elliot. My favorite is “Daddy and Me” because, well, it’s about a lion and his son. I’ve read it to Elliot many, many times over the years and even bought it a second time when I could not find it.
Anyway, Elliot said, “Those are for babies!” He wouldn’t let me read them. The end of a stage!
But I later discovered a new use for them — they make excellent tickle devices in bed! So we still use them after all.
Yesterday, Elliot was singing a tune, “meow, meow, meow… meow, meow, meow”.
(We use “meow” instead of “dih” or “bah” when singing music)
“What’s that?” I said.
“The boy on the missile song,” he said.
Distant Early Warning by Rush, my favorite band as a kid and teen
“An ill wind comes arising, Across the cities of the plain, There’s no swimming in the heavy water, No singing in the acid rain, Red alert, Red alert”
The boy riding the missile is Julian Lee, the son of Geddy Lee, Rush’s singer, bass player, and keyboardist. Elliot, now age 4 years and 9 months, looks about the same age as the Julian in the video. Maybe that helps him to relate to it,
The “Old Family”, as Elliot calls it, is gone now for almost 21 months. Elliot had just turned 3 the month before it dissolved. But he has memories of it, and he can articulate questions about those days much better now.
Today Elliot said, “Remember the Old Family when all the cats lived together? Grendel, Pepi, Noce, New Cat?”
“Did they get along?” I asked
“Some of them. They would fight about their food.”
He also asked about the time he told me to pay Mama’s bills. Then he asked what a bill was.
Elliot was talking to me. We were in different rooms. I couldn’t hear him well. I could swear he said for me to tell him about Death Bandiway. I have no idea who or what Death Bandiway is. But I just went with it, and made up a story about an evil sorcerer named Death Bandiway. I can’t remember the details of the story, but Elliot asked about his weakness. I texted Quinn for an idea and this is what he wrote:
In hindsight, I’m pretty sure Elliot did not say Death Bandiway, and I just misheard what was a normal question. That question is long forgotten. We now have a new character in our repertoire for the stories we tell every day (mostly me telling, but Elliot has started to embellish and is getting the hang of it).
I gave this prompt to ChatGPT, which was released less than 2 months ago to great fanfare after StableDiffusion for images:
Tell me a story about a boy named Elliot Jung. He has two friends who are named The Pizza Kittens. They go on an adventure to find the evil Wizard named Death Bandiway. They need to kill Death Bandiway to save all the pizza. Death Bandiway has only one weakness: blood.
And the answer; I should have asked it to refine how they defeated Death Bandiway with blood. I’ve gotten it to generate better stories than this about the Pizza Kittens. See my blog entry from Jan 15, 2023 for one that also includes StableDiffusion-generated story pictures.
Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Elliot Jung. He lived in a small town where pizza was a way of life. Everyone loved pizza and it brought the community together. But one day, an evil wizard named Death Bandiway appeared and began to put a curse on all the pizza. The pizza would turn rotten and inedible, causing the town to fall into chaos.
Elliot knew he had to do something to save the pizza and the town. He set out on an adventure to find Death Bandiway and put an end to his curse. Along the way, he met two unlikely companions: The Pizza Kittens. They were two small kittens who had been born and raised in a pizza parlor. They had a special connection to pizza and were determined to help Elliot in his quest.
The trio journeyed through forests and over mountains, facing many dangers along the way. But they were determined to save the pizza. Finally, they reached Death Bandiway’s castle. Elliot and the Pizza Kittens fought bravely, but Death Bandiway was too powerful for them.
Just when all seemed lost, Elliot remembered something he had heard about Death Bandiway: he had a weakness for blood. Elliot and the Pizza Kittens used this weakness to their advantage and were able to defeat Death Bandiway.
With the curse lifted, the pizza was once again delicious and the town was saved. Elliot and the Pizza Kittens were hailed as heroes and the people of the town threw a big pizza party in their honor. From that day on, Elliot, the Pizza Kittens, and the town had a newfound appreciation for the power of pizza.
Elliot said, “When I’m five, I’m going to marry mama.”
Then later he said, “I don’t like beautiful girls because I’m a cool kid. Except for mama.”
He’s been using the phrase “cool kid” a lot. Here are some photos of things we did recently.
When he wants my attention, Elliot used to say “excuse me” all the time or “excuse me? let me tell you something.” Then it became just “let me tell you something.” And now it’s, “hey, his guess what?”
Elliot has been asking for weeks to see a real cemetery. The context is that he is obsessed with monsters, especially the undead and classics like ghosts, zombies, vampires, werewolves, Frankenstein, although not exclusively (see previous blog posts about watching Creature From the Black Lagoon, Godzilla vs King Kong, and anything from Ray Harryhausen).
He knows ghosts, zombies, and vampires “hang out” at cemeteries from the books and media he is really drawn to:
Michael Jackson’s ThrillerFantasia’s Night On Bald Mountain
…the Spirit Halloween store, Spooky Scary Skeleton videos, and countless Halloween picture books we’ve read. Here he is walking through a Halloween cemetery near the Littleton Museum on Oct 10, 2021 — more than two years ago when he was 3 and 1/2:
Oct 10, 2021
The other day, Elliot said to me “Daddy, why do I like scary things so much?”
Max was the same way!
But I’ve also been telling Elliot about his dead family members: my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, Uncle Elliot — his namesake. These people who were so important to me and nearly ever-present at one time. Elliot asks if they are in a cemetery. I tell him yes, and that we will visit them in June in New York. He asks to see pictures. I showed him a couple.
Aug 7, 2018 – My parents – Beth David Cemetery in Elmont, New York
He said, “Poor mishpuchah. But you, Mama, and Maxi aren’t dead.”
So, after weeks of asking me to show him one, I took him to the Jewish Cemetery called Golden Hill in Lakewood. He fell asleep during the drive, just like I did when my parents took me to Baron Hirsch Cemetery in Staten Island and Beth David Cemetery in Elmont, Long Island. And we went often, especially to Beth David.
We were parked in the midst of the sign stones (what he calls headstones) when Elliot awoke. He looked around and immediately wanted to get out of the car to explore. Excited. Curious. There was thick snow on the ground, but we spent 45 minutes walking around — often with me carrying him because he had some difficulty in thick areas of snow.
I read the sign stones to him. We talked about the people buried there. I explained they had just as rich lives as us, that they perceived the world in all its glory just like us. That every moment was a gift for them, just like for us. They were blinded by the sun and shivered in the cold, just like us. They had their time and this is ours. But I could not explain that it would end for us like it ended for them. He is not ready for that; he does not understand that everything alive and also dies. He is only 4!
“Elliot, if I die will you bury me in a Jewish cemetery?” I asked.
“But you don’t die because you’re new and I’m new. You’re just asking about that?” he said.
“Yeah,” I said.
When a sign stone was in Hebrew, I said I could not read it. “But you read Hebrew, Daddy. I see you read it at Shabbat services.” Indeed, I was able to read the “so-and-so ben so-and-so” and “so-and-so bat so-and-so”, but that’s all. He doesn’t know I don’t understand Hebrew, even though I’ve explained it to him before.
“Why do you give flowers to people who die?” he asked. I said that I didn’t know and explained that it was not a tradition our family does.
When I read aloud the beautiful words of this sign stone:
Milt Yoelin
A man of eloquence, style, intelligence, and humor. Husband, father, teacher, and the best friend we ever had. He is missed every day.”
Elliot said, “Teachers don’t die!“
He wanted to dig up the graves. You can hear us talking about that in the video. He asks what would happen if we dig them up. I say we’d find skeletons. He asks if we can, and I tell him it’s not nice.
Finally, after about 45 minutes, it was time to go. When were leaving, Elliot thanked me for taking him. “Thank you, Daddy. I love you,” he said. I am not making that up. One of my favorite things in the world is to be with Elliot when he experiences something for the first time. I got that again today.
Later he said, “Daddy, I never kill my mishpuchah.” I am not sure what he meant by that, but I think he is trying to say that he never wants his family to die. He definitely did not mean it in the literal sense.
When we got home I said, “So, you saw your first real sign stone!”
Elliot’s first visit to the Corner Bakery, which is owned by our next-door neighbors, Jamie and Cherise. I think he’s meditating? He loves it and the cinnamon roll. He said, “Daddy, I love this place!” I text it to Cherise. We will surely be going back.
“If the angel of God sees pickles on your door, he just leaves you alone,” says Elliot.
We recently watched the Angel of Death scene in the Ten Commandments movie. Elliot watched it 100 times and had 100 questions. I told the story of Passover again and again. “What’s a slave, Daddy?”
