Hello Rebecca, Kate, and Anna,
I am looking for your advice.
It was very difficult to get Elliot to school this morning. First he complained of a headache, but after we talked for a while, he began to cry while sitting in my lap.
Elliot said he did not want to go to school because of recess. Some kids at recess ask him to play soccer and, although he likes soccer, he doesn’t always want to play it. He wants to do other things. When he tells the children “no” or “I don’t want to play right now”, they call him names, make fun of him, or generally make him uncomfortable. According to Elliot, they need so many kids in order to play soccer, so when Elliot says no, it’s more difficult for them to play or they can’t play at all (I’m not sure) because there’s no quorum.
Together we made a “worry box” with some minimal decorations, wrote down his worries, and put them away in the box. I also encouraged him to stick up for himself, to tell teachers if someone was calling him names, and that ultimately it is his choice whether he wants other children to spoil his day or not. I did not want to lecture so this was very subtle, maybe too subtle.
I am not sure if any it helped. I feel like it didn’t have much impact. Needless to say, he was late because of this emotional coaching.
Eventually, I told him that I expect him to go to school and, through tears, he very reluctantly went into the car.
This situation came up once before, maybe two weeks ago. I don’t know what else to do and would appreciate any advice you could give. Perhaps there isn’t anything else I should do. I know that navigating these kinds of relationships is part of growing up.
Thank you,
Eric
cc: Karolina
