The other day, we were at the Club Greenwood pool with Sagi, Rebecca, Ella, and Maya. Ella and Elliot wanted me to play with them in the pool, and I did for a long time. I threw them around. I did Crazy Bronco. Elliot insisted that I wait at the bottom of the water slide for him, and coached him down the slide with calls of “do the cucumber! do the carrot! do the celery! do the banana!” even though he is now tall enough to stand in the entire length of the pool and does not need any kind of float.
But then I took at break. Elliot followed me around the grounds for a while as he usually does. I began a conversation with Sagi and, after a while, I noticed Elliot was gone. I searched for him and found him playing in the pool with Ella. Without me. There were many lifeguards and other children, so he was safe. But he didn’t need me to guide his play.
I felt some relief; relief that he can play without me even when I am present. Relief to have a brief break. He did not know I was watching him.
Oh, he and Ella still coaxed me into playing with them again. But Elliot is learning independence.
Something similar happened over the weekend in the house. Elliot was able to stay in bed when I went downstairs to make coffee. He usually follows me from room to room, as if a very short invisible tether attaches us. Even if I leave a room and quickly turn back to retrieve something, Elliot follows me; he turns back as if the tether was a mere two feet long, not wanting to be alone even for the briefest of moments. Needless to say, he follows me into the bathroom and everywhere else, too, and insists that I be with him when he needs to the bathroom. But this time, when I went downstairs for coffee, he did not follow, and he did not beg for me to come back. He just waited in the bed. Alone. When I came back, he was flipping through a book.
Opening day at the Indigo Hill pool the day before – Saturday 5/27/2023
Shabbat services 5/28/2023. I thanked everyone for raising Elliot for the last 4 1/2 years.
