Max, Elliot, and I were going to meet at the Main Event arcade when Karolina’s car battery stopped working in the Garden Preschool parking lot. I drove there to jump start the car. The kids were in the car with Karolina.
I opened Elliot’s car door to greet them. There were birthday wishes and then Elliot asked, “where are all the kids?” And will there be kids for my birthday? It was adorable.
Elliot picked some snow off my car and ate it. Karolina rebuked him. Elliot got upset. He came to me, I picked him up, and I comforted him (hug, kiss, back patting).
Karolina approached, and Elliot turned from her, groaning, and leaned into me.
She did not focus on positive behavior, positive direction. She did not tell him why he was rebuked or redirect him to eat the clean snow. In fact, she said nothing about it further and moved on with her life.
Later that evening, after emerging from two hours at the Main Event with me and Max, Elliot asked me why he could not eat snow.
He has eaten snow with me plenty of times. I said what I’ve said to him several times before: “you can eat snow, but get the clean, fresh snow. Don’t eat it off of cars or the ground or anything else unless it is untouched and even then, only take the top. Don’t scoop so low that you get the part touching the car or the ground.”
He might not have understood that last part, the part about scooping too low, but he understood the part about fresh, untouched snow. We picked some up and ate it with relish!
They sang happy birthday to me. There was a King Soopers cake with candles because Elliot had been asking if there would be one, according to Karolina. Elliot joyously blew out the candles.
Karolina did not stay.
The best part for me was the drive to Karolina’s apartment with just Elliot and Max. After we listened to “Space Unicorn” (requested by Elliot) and then “Last in Line (requested by Max as the “elevator song” because of the video), I had 20 minutes to talk to Max. We had not spoken since two minutes on Christmas Day — 20 days ago — when he was very distant. We hadn’t seen each other in 6 weeks (Dec 6 for Hannukah at the house).
We talked about his computer. A new motherboard that he wants. Liquid cooling system that he wants. He recounted a computer Whitney told him about that costs $1000/minute to run. I told him about the new James Webb telescope and how we’ll be able to see farther back in time and distance than ever before. That prompted a long discussion about why looking far away also means looking back in time; that even the light we see from our sun is about 8 minutes old.
We talked about the hermit crabs, fish, and lobster he used to have. Elliot was very interested in this. Max mentioned that Karolina had taken care of those animals. That hurt. He doesn’t remember or know of all of the tanks, heat lamps, terrarium and fish tanks props, and food I bought online. The props in particular he should remember because he picked out some of it at pet stores with me.
We talked about Shonen Jump and that someone is selling stacks of them, maybe a complete set, for $400 on Facebook Marketplace. He asked if I could sign him up for Robux again. I told him to call me and I’d read my credit card to him over the phone.
Elliot mentioned he killed some zombies on max’s computer. Max clarified that they played some low-quality zombie killer together.
I handed him $20 and he said what is this for? I said “spending money”. He said thank you. I wondered if he remembered the $100 I gave to him for summer camp. He said Karolina did give him the Hannukah money I gifted him. He is going to use it towards the motherboard and liquid cooling equipment.
I asked if he wanted to go to Microcenter with me to buy that computer equipment. We could bring his computer to the house and build it there. I don’t remember what he said , but later he asked if I would go with him to Microcenter to buy those things. He said he is shy and did not know how to ask the people who work there for help. I told him of course I’d go. And he said he did not want to move the computer, so I guess he’s on his own building it. I have confidence in him.
I told him there’s a bed for him in his bedroom in case he ever wants to sleep over (Elliot chimed in and said he is going to help me build it). I said if he ever needs anyone to talk to or needs help with anything at all, I am always there for him. And I told him I love him and always will.
We talked about many things. Elliot mostly just listened to us. It’s been a long time some he’s heard us converse like that, so maybe he forgot Max and I did that. And that parents can talk about common interests together. It was good for him to hear it, to see it modeled.
Elliot did interrupt at least once. The one I remember most is when Max and I were talking about the Shonen Jump books/magazines, and Max started talking about other manga books he likes these days. Elliot said something like, “Daddy, remember the book store?” And then he started talking about a book I did not remember. I said, “yeah! And remember the wizard hat and Dragons Love Tacos 2?!!”
Max asked what this was about. I told him that Elliot and I often go to Barnes & Noble, usually Thursday after school before Elliot’s piano lesson.
Elliot just wanted to participate and contribute to the conversation Max and I B were having. It was so precious and remarkable that he already has the social acumen to contribute in a meaningful, relevant way rather than, say, changing the topic.
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