Last night, Elliot got quite upset. He did not want to change into pajamas or brush his teeth. He only wanted me to read books to him. But our routine is to get ready for sleep first, before reading time, and he knows this. It wasn’t quite a tantrum, but it was powerful.

“Daddy!”

He stomped around, angry, when I refused to read to him. He said I was mean and that I hit him (and then talked about Darien at school, who I know has hit Elliot before).

(Mimicking his one of his current speaking styles, which I adore, by saying in a sing-songy voice, “I never ever ever ever hit anyone before”). That was all of my response.

“You’re not nice!“

I got ready for sleep myself while he lay in his bed huffing and puffing, very upset, grunting and grumbling. When I was finished, I went to his bed and pulled him up into mine. He resisted a little but allowed it.

We laid down, and I held him in my arms. I sang a few songs to him like “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” and my version of “Puff the Magic Dragon” with Little Elliot Wolf Jung instead of Little Jack Paper. He really listened to that one and stopped fussing. Then I made up a simple rhyme, something like this:

“I love you when you’re mad, I love you when you’re glad, I love you when you’re angry, and I love you when you’re sad. I love you always and you are the most special person in the world to me.”

All of this calmed him down, and he asked, “Daddy, why you mad at me?”

He switched us around. He replaced me with himself. Bu he had been the angry one, not me. I wonder why.

“Oh, I’m not mad at you, Elliot.”

I kissed him and went back to the bathroom for a couple of minutes. When I returned, he said “Grendel told me it would be ok.” Grendel had been in the room the whole time, sitting on the dresser.

Grendel in June 2020

I told him Grendel was right, and that everything was already ok. Everything was always ok and just as it should be.

“Why Grendel say that?” he asked

“Grendel is a very smart cat who knows a lot of things. She also loves you very much,” I said.

I asked if he was ready to undress and brush his teeth. And he was. We did all of that then read three new books that Cherise, the next door neighbor, gave to us earlier that day.