Elliot stayed with me the last few days. His first Rocky Mountain Pinball Showdown Festival.

So many times he would call “Daddy?” while he was eating or playing, and while I was busy doing the dishes, laundry, picking up, or doing something else for which I feel have limited time when I’m with Elliot.

“Daddy?”

I would anticipate needing to attend to him or fulfill his needs in some way, while just trying to find 2 minutes to clean the dishes or some similar chore.

Then he would say, “I love you” out of the blue. My heart would sink. For not living in the moment. For anticipating something that not only did not happen, but the complete opposite happening. Once or twice he followed this up with “Hug, hug“, reaching out his arms to me.

I want to learn to be more open-minded; not to let the past color me or set expectations. The meditation is helping.