While driving to VPAA practice for Bob Fosse Tribute:

Max: “When I grow up, I’m going to live in Maine.”

Me: “Because they have crabs?”

Max: “Yes and I want to live near the ocean and I like boats.”

Me: “But you’ll live so far away from us.”

He doesn’t say anything.

Me: “Please don’t move away without us.”

Max: Smiling an shrugging, “Sorry”, as if he’s going to do it anyway.

Now I know how my mother felt.

Max: “Wait, how old will you be when I’m grown up.”

Me: “Like… when you’re 20?”

Max: “Out of college. When I’m out of college.”

Me: “Ok, so about 23. You’re almost 9, so that’s in just about 14 years. I’ll be 60 or 61. Gaga’s age.”

Max: Surprised, “REALLY?!” Then he says, “Gaga says he’s 59 and he doesn’t like being old.”

Max: “When I grow up I want to be a scientist.”

Me: “Why?’

Max: “Because when there’s a nuclear ‘plosion, the scientists survive.”

Me: “Because they get to live underground?”

Max: “Yes”

Max: “When I’m grown up scientists will make flying cars. And we won’t die from old age.” He said this before and told me we’ll have a “jection” [injection] to prevent old age.

“You can still die by falling off a cliff but not from old age.”

Me: “What kind of scientist do you want to be? Do you want to work on flying cars or injection to prevent dying.”

He doesn’t really understand me, or says I don’t understand him because there will still be dying, just not from old age. I drop it before he gets frustrated.